Have to Commit
This is early morning, 2 o clock, saw the lights on in my bathroom, so I got up to switch it off, and then I thought "Well I better pee now". So I did that, and while walking out of the bathroom, I thought to myself, it has been weeks since I checked my weight. Since I peed, I can expect a weight hovering around 96-97kg and then sleep in peace.
Took the weighing machine out from the rubbles, stood on it, and it read 100.2kg!!!!! I was shocked, to say the least. But the weighing machine when not used regularly have shown some inaccuracies of 1-2Kgs in the past. So I stood on it again, and again and again.... 100.1Kg.
Each time I weighed myself I did that in hopes to see a 99.9Kg so that I could back to sleep with at least some peace of mind. But no... I was heartbroken and devastated.
I took my mobile, searched for details on water fast, decided to do that, downloaded an app to track my fast, and started the stopwatch on that. I even restarted the app that alerts me every hour to walk up & down the stairs while I am working.
I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I am 26, have fatty liver, abdominal issue, I am leading a unhealthy lifestyle, have an unstable relationship and low self esteem due. I used to be overweight, but now I am obese.
I am unable to go to sleep, I can't tell this to her, she will be disappointed in me, coz she worked so hard to get me to 91Kg. So I created this blog to write down my feelings.
I am going to start my water fast from today. Don't know how much days I can do this, but I have to. I don't have the will power that I used to have.
This is the a matter of life or death, this is matter of quality of life.
I have to commit to this.
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